Why Most Leaders Struggle with True Collaboration (And How to Fix It)

What if the key to unlocking your team’s full potential isn’t about having all the answers—but about listening better, inviting different perspectives, and creating space for true collaboration? 

That’s exactly what Marsha Acker, expert facilitator and team coach, has dedicated her career to. In our conversation, she shared five powerful ways leaders can foster meaningful collaboration and build teams where every voice is valued.

Marsha’s journey into team coaching didn’t start with leadership—it began in software engineering. But early on, she discovered the power of facilitation and group dynamics. She saw firsthand how poor communication could hold teams back and how the right conversations could drive real change. That realization led her to launch Team Catapult in 2005, where she spent years helping organizations transform the way they work together.

In this blog, we explore what it takes to create a culture of collaboration—one where teams don’t just function but thrive.

Signs That a Team Is Stuck

One of the biggest challenges leaders face isn’t just making decisions—it’s recognizing when their team is stuck. During a leadership retreat, Marsha found herself at a loss. The team had all the data they needed, yet they kept spinning in circles, revisiting the same conversations without moving forward. The team was stuck.

So how can you tell when a leadership team is in this state? Marsha shared a few key signs:

Repetitive Conversations – When discussions keep looping back to the same topics without progress, even when all the necessary information is available.

Unspoken Resistance – A feeling of tension or hesitation in the room, even if no one is openly voicing disagreement.

Over-functioning Leadership – If you, as a leader or facilitator, feel like you’re working harder than the team itself, it’s a strong signal that you need to have a conversation you’re avoiding.

5 Ways to Encourage More Collaborative Team Conversations

Recognizing the signs is the first step in breaking the cycle and fostering meaningful collaboration. Instead of pushing harder for solutions, leaders must create space for honest dialogue—because the real issue often isn’t what’s being said, but what’s being left unsaid. 

Here are 5 ways to encourage better collaboration within your team:

1. Knowing When to Tell and When to Collaborate

It’s easy to fall into the habit of simply telling people what to do—especially when decisions need to be made quickly. But true collaboration requires knowing when to step back and create space for dialogue. So how do you decide? It comes down to context and complexity.

When to Tell: If the decision is straightforward, time-sensitive, or requires minimal discussion, telling can be the most efficient approach. Some decisions don’t need debate—they just need action.

When to Collaborate: If the issue is complex, has multiple viewpoints, or requires buy-in from others to be successful, collaboration is key. These conversations benefit from diverse perspectives and help teams align around shared goals.

Not every decision can be a group effort, but knowing when to invite discussion—and when to make a call—can transform the way teams communicate and collaborate.

Collaboration Theater: When It’s Not Really Collaboration

There are three main ways people approach teamwork:

1. Open System – Encouraging all voices and perspectives.

2. Closed System – Following a clear structure and decision-making process.

3. Random System – Emphasizing creativity and innovation.

The biggest pitfall? Collaboration theater—when a leader appears open to input but has already made up their mind. It’s not real collaboration; it’s persuasion disguised as discussion. This erodes trust, stifles participation, and leads to disengaged teams.

If a leader truly wants unfiltered input, they must create psychological safety. The key is to ask the right questions and mean it. Even subtle reactions—like a sigh, an eye roll, or a dismissive shrug—can shut people down. Real collaboration happens when people feel safe to share their true thoughts—not just what they think the leader wants to hear.

For Marsha, collaboration doesn’t mean everyone must agree—it means ensuring every voice is heard and that everyone reaches a consensus and can support the final decision, even if they don’t fully agree.

2. Not Relying on Slideshow Presentations

Slideshow presentations can be a great tool, but relying on it too soon in a conversation can shut down curiosity and open dialogue. We know many leaders who would start discussions by jumping straight into a prepared PowerPoint, laying out their entire thought process before anyone has a chance to weigh in. This approach, while well-intentioned, leans more toward telling than asking. It signals that a decision has already been made, making real collaboration difficult. Marsha often challenge leaders to set aside the slides and start with a question instead.

Marsha believes this stems from the way we are conditioned to believe that leaders should always know what to do. One of the biggest hurdles for leaders is the belief that they must always have the answer. But leadership isn't about having all the answers—it's about creating space for meaningful discussion and shared problem-solving.

3. Holding Listening Sessions

A leader’s role isn’t just to make decisions—it’s also to foster an environment where employees feel heard. That means stepping back, asking questions, and resisting the urge to jump in with solutions. In high-performing sports teams, decisions aren’t made by one person. Coaches, players, and support staff work together, adjusting strategies based on feedback. The same principle applies to business leadership—great leaders create an atmosphere where input is valued, not just expected.

How to Start a Listening Session

If this is a new concept in your organization, expect some skepticism at first. One listening session won’t transform an organization overnight. Employees need to see consistent efforts to engage in real dialogue. Some will embrace it right away, while others may take a wait-and-see approach. 

To set the stage for a successful listening session:

1. Provide Context – Explain why you're holding the session. 

2. Set Clear Boundaries – Let employees know that their feedback won’t be held against them and that the session is a safe space for open dialogue.

3. Bring in a Neutral Facilitator – Having someone outside the leadership team lead the session can help encourage honest input.

4. Follow Up with Action – The most critical step is demonstrating that the feedback leads to real change. Share key takeaways, keep employees updated on progress, and show that their voices matter.

At its core, leadership is about moving from monologue to dialogue. And when leaders make listening a habit, it becomes more than just an exercise—it becomes a culture.

4. Inviting Opposition

Creating space for differing opinions is crucial for healthy discussions and strong decision-making. David Kantor’s Four-Player Model breaks communication into four key actions: move, follow, oppose, and bystand. 

Many teams are great at making moves, following along, and offering neutral observations. But what’s often missing is opposition. In some organizations, opposition might show up as a subtle comment—a covert oppose, where someone hints at discomfort but doesn’t clearly challenge the idea. Over time, this can lead to frustration, unspoken concerns, and missed opportunities for growth.

Opposition should be a shared responsibility. When teams create a culture where different viewpoints are encouraged, discussions become richer, blind spots are addressed, and better decisions are made. The key is making sure everyone feels safe enough to challenge ideas—not just the boldest voices in the room.

5. Carve Out The Time

In the rush of day-to-day work, meetings are often short, focused, and deadline-driven. We gather for 30 minutes, tackle a topic, and move on. But over time, something happens—we accumulate what you might call conversation and relationship debt. When we don’t intentionally carve out time for deeper discussions, issues that seem small at the moment build up until they become much bigger, harder to address, and even disruptive.

A study from Zipdo Metrics found that 57% of projects fail due to ineffective communication and that poor communication costs global companies $359 billion in lost productivity. 

So many workplace challenges boil down to someone feeling unheard, misunderstood, or misaligned. One simple way to prevent this buildup is to set aside dedicated time for open dialogue. For example, Marsha’s team holds a monthly two-to-three-hour meeting—a space specifically designed for deeper discussions that regular meetings don’t always allow. 

If we want better collaboration, stronger teams, and fewer unnecessary roadblocks, we have to be intentional about setting aside time for meaningful conversations.

A Challenge to Bring True Collaboration

If there’s one small but powerful shift you can make today, Marsha thinks it’s listening more and asserting less. So here’s a challenge from my conversation with Marsha: this week, try sharing 5% fewer ideas and asking 5% more genuine, curious questions. Notice what happens when you lean into listening as a practice—how does it impact your team’s contributions and engagement?

To recap, my three key takeaways from this blog: 

• Confident leaders prioritize listening over telling—they create space for honest conversations and diverse perspectives.

• Confident leaders are transparent about decision-making—they clarify when input is needed and when a final decision will be made.

• Confident leaders balance collaboration and decisiveness—they know when to gather input and when to move forward.

You can also tune in to the full podcast episode for more in depth insights from Marsha here: Why Most Leaders Struggle with True Collaboration (And How to Fix It)

What resonated with you the most? Let us know on YouTube or in the comments below.